1. |
laurie allen
01:57
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fell asleep stressed
woke up in a cold sweat
forgot a lot about what i dreamt
but as soon as i woke up
it was like a weight was lifted from my chest
you are my laruie allen
but i hope i won’t still feel the need
to write about you
years into the future
but you’re so good, it just might end up being the case
don’t wanna keep chasing something unattainable
seems romantic when it’s happening to someone else
but when it’s yourself, it’s unbearable.
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2. |
meet again
04:00
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see past my tears
act as firm as you would to someone stronger
i am a growing boy
but i don’t know for how much longer
i can take it
can i make it through?
please disregard
the times i blew you off, kept to myself, i
threw quick remarks
into your chest without any warning
can you forgive me?
or can i just go
but i don’t wanna leave
without letting you know something first
all the little things that you don’t think about
hurt me the worst
want you to hear it
then disappear and
kick me into the dirt
can you believe it?
even after all of this
id come back for sure
now that it’s off my chest
we can go on like nothing happened
avoiding eye contact
take a long walk along the park, and
this is pointless
i’ve known all along
if we could take some years off
meet again in some cafe
we’ll laugh and reminisce
about the things we did today
but as for right now
i’ll have to wait
don’t grab my arm
don’t try to pull me back
you know how hard it is to say that?
just let it happen
close your eyes and count to ten
and i’ll be gone
so long until we meet again.
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3. |
brain clutter
02:43
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you believed everything
when they told you it’s dumb
you’re so loved because i love you
shouldn’t that be enough?
arm wrestling was an excuse
to hold your chaliced hands
one of the things that i can’t
think of the same ever again
it all feels so long ago, and stupid now
getting over it would be
the most reasonable thing
but i don’t know how
i don’t know how.
like any talent
i don’t like it if
i’m not good right away
if i’m not a natural
as one could say
so you would think that i’d have given
it all up by now
the thing is: i wish i could
but i don’t know how
two months later and i’m still on the same shit
desperately waiting for the day i’m finally over it
limiting my options, it’s a waste of my time
don’t want someone other than me on my mind
there’s a reason that you keep your distance
and that’s giving you as much credit as i can
maybe if you were so close to me
you’d fall in love, and you’re afraid of that.
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4. |
heaven sent ii
02:04
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|
I hate myself for thinking
this was something new
When I was falling I was nothing but a pawn to you
If I knew that things would be like this I’d stay away
But someone talked the news spread
now it’s all too late
At one point all I wanted was to hold you near
Now when I think about you I just disappear
My hope is lost the light has gone in my eyes
Just empty cuz I’m let down but
not even surprised
Cuz You’re an angel from above
An angel sent from above
And no matter what they give you
It’s never enough
When no ones there to give you praise
You can’t raise up your wings
I hope you feel that hole in ur heart
So high up, no one dared take you apart
Though I love love love you baby
I love the idea more
Picturing it, I can see you
Turning round and out the door
Never giving it a shot and
Never knowing what’s in store
If it’s true and loves a game then
All I want is just to score.
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5. |
as long as we don't kiss
04:00
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as long as we don’t kiss
and i don’t assume you want me
after the littlest things
cuz it’s what i want to believe
then we’re fine
i’ll be aware of boundaries
won’t even try
to make you fall for me
but i won’t overdo it
i’d still play you some songs
if i had the courage
cuz that’s what friends are for, isn’t it?
seems like i’ve forgotten
after trying so hard
to play this innocent act
would it be alright
to paint on the beach?
have your head in my lap on a picnic
as long as we don’t kiss.
as long as we don’t kiss
the sky’s the limit
we could spend so much quality time
i’d hold you at night, cuz that’s what i do
with everyone i love
with you, it isn’t different
or so you thought
it means nothing to you
but everything to me
can’t you see my dilemma here?
seems like i’ve forgotten
after trying so hard
to play this innocent act
would it be alright
to walk through town
while flipping a coin
letting it lead the way
our fingers can lock
we can talk and talk
about that and this
as long as we don’t kiss.
i can claim it now
that i’m good at restraint
but in the moment, i never know
if i get too close to your face
if i touch those lips with mine
i’ll never forgive myself.
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6. |
dead zone
03:45
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Even if i manage to forget you
you’ll always be that guy
when you come up again somehow
years from now, i’ll sigh
because despite the heartbreak
i’m glad we met
you are an exceptionally good friend
it’s on me for catching feelings
you did nothing wrong
i’d hate for this to ruin things
we haven’t known each other for long
seven months to be precise
i’ve been keeping track
if you did the calculations
you’d know that too
without me even knowing
you could be in his arms
and i’ll be here in georgia, helpless
nothing i can do about it
what if you’re texting him
trying to make plans?
i want you to think of me
as better than the rest
can’t find my words in the logs
what was that thing i said?
i am me, which you don’t want, which i’ll just have to accept
that leaves the two of you
please don’t be alone together
i know you don’t want him
but i still can’t bare the thought
would i be better off
i could do anything you want
should i be on top
just say the word
i can do it for you
i can give myself to you
i can try to change if it means you’ll have me.
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Carbo recommends:
Twin Fantasy
by Car Seat Headrest
this. this album changed me and is just a classic that everyone should hear at least once in their lives
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